Dreaming Dickens
by DSISandraPullman39
Summary: Gerry is feeling very un-festive can three "ghostly" visits change his mind about how he spends the Christmas holidays?
1. Chapter 1 - Christmas Past

**Dreaming Dickens 1/3 – Christmas past**

**Disclaimer:-** Don't own them just borrowing!

**Episode:-**None

**Pairing:-**Sandra/Gerry

**Rating:-**M

**Achieve:- . /group/new_tricksff/**

**Summary:- **Gerry is feeling very un-festive can three "ghostly" visits change his mind about how he spends the Christmas holidays?

**Author's Note:- **OK I'm not sure how to explain this other than to say if you've ever seen any version of a Christmas carol you've pretty much got the gist. Any text inside ** / ** and in italics is happening at a different time to the main story I hope that is clear enough but I think it'll be easy enough to follow once you get started.

"Merry Christmas Gerry." Sandra smiled handing him a perfectly wrapped gift as he glanced from his computer and smiled grudgingly.

"Thanks not sure I can be bothered with Christmas this year all my exes and my kids have plans that don't include me." He replied refusing to meet her eyes as he continued to stare at the email he'd already read three times.

"Well you could come for a drink with me now then come over tomorrow and we could be lonely together." Sandra laughed hating the fact he'd been so miserable for weeks. "Apart from a quick visit to Whitemead in the morning to see my mother I'm on my own tomorrow too she's decided she doesn't want to leave her friends to come spend the day with me."

"Nah thanks anyway but I think I'm just going to go home, get plastered and sleep through Christmas."

"Fine well don't say you weren't asked." Sandra sighed leaving the room sulkily as he stared after her then lifted the present off his desk running his fingers over the paper before ripping it open and laughing at the Copy of "A Muppet Christmas Carol" with a pink post-it attached to it saying "Since you've been such a scrooge this year I thought this was appropriate! Luv Sandra xxx"

Smiling he set the DVD on the desk and sat back in his chair sighing heavily. She always noticed when something was up with one of them and she always did what she could to help, sometimes he wondered if they really deserved it. He knew he definitely didn't he loved her so much he should have jumped at that chance to spend Christmas with her and still he'd said no he couldn't work himself out at times.

"Brian what the hell are you doing her aren't you supposed to be at Mark's already with Esther?" Gerry signed opening his eyes and seeing Brian lift the DVD off the table and turn it over in his hand.

"I am." Brian replied smiling as Gerry looked back at him sceptically. "Look mate this is your dream so don't look at me like I'm the one who's nuts. Well if this DVD is anything to go by I think I must be your ghost of Christmas past and we're going to walk out the door and be somewhere back in time."

"Brian don't be so stupid you can't be the ghost of anything you're not dead!"

"Sorry to repeat myself but your dream your rules." Brian laughed and the office dissolved around them and they were transported to the MET canteen were a Christmas party was in full swing. "So where are we what year I mean do you know?"

"Yeah." Gerry sighed knowing exactly which year and which event they were revisiting and hoping he woke up before Brian saw more than he needed to! "It's 2010 MET Christmas party, you and Jack wouldn't come you said you'd had enough of it when you were serving officers so me and Sandra were the only ones here from our office."

_** "God I think Jack and Brian had the right idea this is awful." Sandra laughed looking around the room at the drunken antics of the people around them._

"_Yeah I know and we have better booze than this downstairs in our office," Gerry agreed looking at the luke warm wine in the plastic cup in his hand. "Let's get out of here and get a descent drink do you think we can get out without Strickland noticing?"_

"_Yeah he's too busy smoozing the commissioner to notice." Sandra laughed as they walked quickly toward the door giggling quietly.**_

"See we were the sensible ones!" Brian laughed as the canteen dissolved around them and they were back in their office again looking at a slightly drunk Gerry and Sandra laughing on the sofa in the centre of the room.

"Look Brian I don't think we need to see anymore we should just….you know….go or whatever." Gerry said quietly shaking his head as Brian raised an eyebrow in his direction. "Yeah, yeah I know my dream Jesus this is going to get uncomfortable."

_**"You know it's madness that you don't have a fella at the minute Sandra I mean take a look at yourself you're gorgeous." Gerry slurred as Sandra laughed and shook her head_ "_It's true you're a real stunner and you're damn sexy you could have any guy you wanted."_

"_Yeah I'm so sexy we're here alone and drunk and you haven't even tried your luck." Sandra laughed glancing into the empty glass in her hand._

"_Only because I am adverse to pain and if I tried anything you'd make sure pain was the only thing I was feeling." Gerry replied as she moved across the sofa pulling him toward her and kissing him hungrily._

_In seconds nothing else was important as they moved around the office, walls and desks providing the only support as they tore at each other's clothes eventually tumbling back onto the sofa._

"_Oh god you feel good!" Gerry gasped as he thrust into her revelling in the way she ached toward him moaning his name as they moved together low gasps and strangled cries the only sounds in the room._

"_Gerry harder please so good, do close, don't stop." Sandra moaned as she felt herself give up her body trembling in his arms as he filled her a final time falling against her chest gasping for air.**_

"Oh my god!" Brian snapped staring at Gerry in disbelief.

"I did say you didn't want to see what was going to happen next," Gerry replied feeling him flush as Brian shook his head.

"My desk? I knew something wasn't right that next day and you two blamed the cleaners!" He continued making Gerry laugh at the priorities his friend picked. He'd just witnessed him make love to their boss and all he could comment on was the fact that they'd messed up his desk in the process. He was about to point this out when the room changed again and he knew what was coming next.

_** "Morning" Gerry said quietly stepping into Sandra's office and closing the door. "So; quite a party last night."_

"_Yeah you could say that." Sandra replied a soft flush coming to her cheeks as Gerry shuffled nervously from foot to foot._

"_About what happened…..I mean what we did….well I just wanted to say…"_

"_Look don't worry about it, it doesn't have to change anything, we were drunk it was a Christmas party things like that happen in millions of offices all over the world at this time of year." Sandra sighed refusing to meet his eyes as he nodded._

"_Yeah that's what I was going to say too." Gerry replied reaching for the door handle again and sighing as he left the office.**_

"Are you mad man?" Brian laughed staring at Gerry "You two dance around each other for years and something finally happens and you decide to ignore it? God I thought I was the mad one!"

"You heard her she didn't want it to mean anything what was I supposed to do?" Gerry replied sulkily shaking his head.

"Yeah I heard her but did you SEE her? She was waiting for you to say you didn't want to forget about it, Jesus I'm clueless where women are concerned but even I could see that."

"I…..well I didn't think she was interested." Gerry repeated as Steve appeared beside Brian and he looked from one to the other.

"Over to you." Brian sighing shaking Steve's hand as he walked across the room and disappeared but not before throwing back a final comment. "And good luck you're going to need it Casanova here really screwed up this time!"


	2. Chapter 2 - Christmas Present

**Dreaming Dickens 2/3 – Christmas present**

****For disclaimer archive etc see chapter 1"**

**Author's Note:- **OK I'm not sure how to explain this other than to say if you've ever seen any version of a Christmas carol you've pretty much got the gist. Any text inside ** / ** and in italics is happening at a different time to the main story I hope that is clear enough but I think it'll be easy enough to follow once you get started.

"This is just getting stupid now." Gerry sighed leaning back on the desk as Steve laughed.

"Hey pal you're not going to get any arguments from me I mean who dreams about the woman they love and makes it Dickens themed? Since it's been years since I saw a Christmas Carol and I've never read the book I'm guessing I must be your "ghost" of Christmas present this should be fun!"

As the room dissolved around them and they were back to an hour earlier watching Sandra give Gerry the present then invite him for Christmas Gerry cringed at his own reaction and the coldness that he knew radiated from him. He watched Sandra slowly loose her temper and eventually storm from the office as Steve looked at him like he'd lost his mind.

"Don't. I know ok but what was I supposed to do?"

"You were supposed to say thanks Sandra that'd be great." Steve sighed shaking his head "I mean she's clearly crazy about you and doesn't want to be alone over Christmas any more than you do so what the hell's stopping you?"

"You've no idea what you're talking about we're friends that's all and she's certainly not crazy about me she just about likes me most of the time." Gerry snapped as they found themselves in the parking garage watching Sandra head for her car.

"Well maybe I don't but I'm not blind and I can see what a stunner she is even if you can't." Steve replied as they heard his voice calling Sandra and she stopped in her tracks turning to look at him as they watched.

_** "Sandra wait up will you I've been tryin to catch you since you left the office what's the hurry?" Steve asked as Sandra sighed wishing she could have just made it to the car and got home before the hurt and irritation she was feeling became plainly obvious to everyone._

"_It's Christmas Eve I just want to get home and forget about this place for a couple of days." She replied turning again and carrying on toward her car. _

"_What about a drink, come on one drink I'm heading to Glasgow in the morning but we can have a drink tonight can't we?"_

"_I'd rather just go home Steve thanks anyway."_

"_How long are you going to wait around for him Sandra?" Steve asked stopping her in her tracks again her hand resting on the door handle as she turned and stared at him. "How long are you going to wait for him to realise you're in love with him and realise how lucky he is?"_

"_Steve me and Gerry are friends we've known each other a long time now and you've only been here five minutes you don't know what you're talking about."_

"_Then it won't matter if you come for a drink with me will it?"_

"_Fine but one drink then I'm going home!" Sandra sighed as they headed for the exit to the street and walked toward the pub they frequented. **_

"You bastard," Gerry snapped staring at Steve as they watched them leave "I swear if I didn't know this is a dream and it was pointless I'd punch your lights out right now."

"Like I said I'm not an idiot she's a great woman and she needs someone who will look after her and won't sit around pretending he doesn't care." Steve replied as they appeared in the pub and saw Sandra and Steve sitting at their usual table.

_** "Seriously Sandra why are you letting him treat you like this?" Steve asked as Sandra stared into her untouched wine glass and sighed heavily. "It clear to anyone with eyes how much you love him like you said I've only been here five minutes and I can see it. Everyone knows you could have left UCOS years ago if you'd wanted you're a better copper than most and you could have got promoted or moved back to CID or anywhere else you wanted. You stay there out of loyalty so why don't you just tell him how you feel and if it all goes tits up you can always move on."_

"_We're friends Steve I've already told you that and I stay with UCOS because I think what we do is important. Look I knew this was a bad idea thanks for the drink but I really need to go home." Sandra replied leaving the table and the untouched wine as she headed for the door and he followed her.**_

"See!" Gerry said smugly as they two appeared outside the pub and watched as she stormed back toward the office and Steve followed her.

"Just wait" Steve laughed "Not to repeat myself pal but I'm not an idiot!"

_**"Sandra look I'm sorry wait and I'll walk you back to the car." Steve called reaching her side and gripping her arm gently and turning her to look at him as they stood toe to toe. As she sighed and shook his hand from her arm he smiled again leaning toward her and brushing his lips against hers then kissing her deeply as she appeared to be in shock for a second then pushed him away._

"_Steve stop it that's seriously out of line I'm not interested in you that way and I'm going to pretend that didn't just happen I suggest you do the same." She snapped leaving him standing in the middle of the street as she stormed away.**_

"Oh yeah you're not an idiot." Gerry laughed shaking his head as Steve shrugged "You're lucky you can walk and she didn't break your legs for trying that!"

"Maybe." Steve agreed "but it's only a matter of time and if it's not me it'll be someone else, I do hope it's me though."

Looking around as the street dissolved around them and they appeared in a comfortable looking sitting room Steve glanced at Gerry in confusion.

"Well I wasn't expecting this I thought we'd be back at the office and I'd be handing you over to someone else by now where are we?"

"Sandra's house, her living room." Gerry sighed as they heard a door slam closed and watched Sandra storm into the room and throw herself into the corner of the sofa.

_**"Damn you Gerry Standing." She muttered angry tears rolling down her cheeks as she closed her eyes and rested her head back on the cushions. "Now look what you've started why can't you just stop being a tosser for 1 day it's Christmas for Christ sakes."**_

"I don't know why I'm getting the blame for you kissing her." Gerry said sulkily as they arrived back in the office and Steve laughed.

"I don't know either mate but you can ask her yourself." He replied nodding as Sandra appeared at the other side of the room and he disappeared.

"Jesus Gerry what the hell are you playing at?" Sandra laughed standing beside him leaning against the desk and shaking her head.

"I've given up trying to work it out you bought me the bloody DVD now look what's happened I've given up trying to work out why I can't just wake up and put myself out of this misery. I've already had to watch us make love on that sofa with Brian for company and listen to Steve tell me what an idiot I am for not realising that you love me and then watch him try it on with you. I'm guessing you're my "ghost" of Christmas future."

"Last time I checked I wasn't dead Gerry I can't be the ghost of anything!" Sandra laughed as he nodded.

"Been there and had that conversation with Brian but according to him it's my dream my rules. So I'd say we're about to leave here and if what I remember from A Christmas Carol see things that I really don't want to see."

"Yeah that'd be my guess too." Sandra agreed "But at least this time the company will be better!"


	3. Chapter 3 - Christmas Future

**Dreaming Dickens 3/3 – Christmas past**

****For disclaimer archive etc see chapter 1"**

**Author's Note:- **OK I'm not sure how to explain this other than to say if you've ever seen any version of a Christmas carol you've pretty much got the gist. Any text inside ** / ** and in italics is happening at a different time to the main story I hope that is clear enough but I think it'll be easy enough to follow once you get started.

"When are we?" Gerry asked as they stood at Sandra's office door watching as she held her phone to her ear turning a small neatly wrapped present over in her other hand.

"2014, 2 years from now and before you ask you left hours ago who do you think I'm trying to ring?" Sandra replied as the other her saw something out of the office window and hung up the phone before quickly dropping the gift into her desk drawer.

_**"Sandra are you still down here people are asking where you are, Esther and Brian have just arrived and Esther is looking for you!" Steve asked walking into the office and smiling "Come on darlin it's our first Christmas together I should be able to show you off so everyone knows I'm the luckiest guy in the building."_

"_Sorry I'm just finishing up so my desk is clear before the holidays tell Esther I'll not be long." Sandra replied trying to smile and visibly tensing as he leaned across the desk kissing her hungrily._

"_Well don't be long its Christmas work can wait." He continued leaving the office as Sandra sank back into the chair closing her eyes and sighing heavily. **_

"Oh my god!" Gerry gasped staring wide eyed at Sandra as she shrugged "How the hell…..I mean what's…Last thing I saw you did all but run the other way when he tried to kiss you now you're a couple?"

"That first kiss was two years ago Gerry I got sick of waiting for you to decide that you loved me as much as I loved you and Steve can be very persistent." Sandra sighed "After that time he kissed me I blamed you for not coming with me that night in the first place and the more he pestered me the more I resented you. Eventually we grew further and further apart by this stage we don't even really know each other anymore."

"But you and Steve? I mean is it serious have you….I mean has he…..you know to you….?" Gerry asked not wanting to finish the sentence as Sandra nodded sadly and he knew he had his answer as the room dissolved and they were transported upstairs to the canteen where Sandra was sitting at a table as Esther arrived and handed her a glass of wine.

_**"I take it from the fact he's still walking around like some sort of strutting peacock that you haven't told him it's over? Did you get Gerry on the phone?" Esther asked shaking her head as Sandra refused to meet her eyes._

"_He's still not answering and no I tried to tell him last night but its Christmas Esther what right do I have to make him miserable at this time of year." Sandra replied taking a gulp from the wine glass in her hand._

"_Oh so you can't make him unhappy but it's ok for you to spend the entire Christmas holidays being miserable?"_

"_Yeah I did the holding out for the dream and it didn't happen as a matter of fact the opposite happened me and Gerry are further apart now than we've ever been."_

"_We'll I'll tell you one thing you were a hell of a lot happier when you were loving Gerry Standing from afar than you have been since you got together with that idiot." Esther said firmly waving to Brian to bring them more drinks then pausing as he did before returning to the conversation he was having at the other side of the room with another officer. "You sat in my house last weekend and told me you couldn't stand to have him near you anymore let alone actually touch you. You know as well as I do that you are still in love with Gerry so why are you settling with that sleaze why aren't you fighting for what you want."_

"_I don't have the energy to fight anymore Esther." Sandra replied staring at the table fighting back the tears she could feel stinging the backs of her yes. "I spent years fighting, trying to convince myself if I just waited long enough he'd love me back and it never happened. If I can't have the man I love then what's wrong with settling for alright? So he doesn't make me ecstatically happy but at least I'm not alone Esther, happiness is over rated."_

"_I wish you wouldn't say that Sandra." Esther sighed as Steve waved from the other side of the room and Sandra shrugged before getting up and walking to his side.**_

"Sandra I…..I'm so sorry I…I don't know what to say." Gerry whispered as they were transported back to the office the silence that replaced the bustling party noise almost deafening. "How did I let this happen, how did we let it happen why didn't you tell me how you felt."

"I couldn't cope with being hurt by you again." Sandra sighed "After we made love I thought that was it we were finally going to be together and when you said we should just forget about it I felt like someone had punched me. Than two years later when I asked you to spend Christmas with me and you said no I thought it was the final confirmation that I needed that you could never love me."

"But I do love you, you know that I do you've seen it for yourself now."

"It's not me you need to convince Gerry, well not this me anyway."

"But how…" Gerry began as a loud bang startled him and he woke up still sitting behind his desk with the DVD in his hand. Looking at the clock he realised it had only been 20 minutes since Sandra left and jumping out of the chair he ran toward the door. Getting to the car park he looked around confirming there was no sign of Steve as he saw Sandra reach her car and root around in her handbag for her keys.

"Sandra wait!" He shouted rushing to her side and pulling her toward him as she stared back at him in shock. "I love you, I've always loved you I'm sorry I didn't say it before, I don't want us to become people who can't even look at each other and I don't want you to settle for Steve and end up unhappy. I'm sorry….."

"Gerry you're not making any sense." Sandra laughed feeling his forehead. "Me and Steve? Are you feeling ok?"

"I am now look a couple of years ago when we ….you know….when we made love I didn't want to pretend it didn't happen I just said that because it was what you wanted." Gerry continued "I want to spend Christmas with you and every other day for that matter I'm sorry I should have told you sooner. I love you Sandra and I know you love me too!"

"You do huh?" Sandra laughed "well you've done a good job of hiding that knowledge when did you work that out."

"About an hour from now."

"What?"

"It doesn't matter I'll explain later," Gerry smiled "All that matters is that I love you and I want to make you happy tell me I'm not wrong, tell me you love me too."

"I do, I love you too." Sandra smiled as he pulled her into his arms kissing her hungrily "And right now you'll make me very happy if you take me home and do again what we did 2 Christmases ago, slowly, and then keep doing to for the rest of our lives."

"Good because that's exactly what I plan on doing!" Gerry smiled reaching into his pocket and running his fingers over the DVD as she opened the car door and he realised it was without a doubt the best Christmas present he'd ever received.


End file.
